Daydreaming

I get strong feelings about people sometimes. Like, I can't get them off of my mind for days on end. I assume this means they need prayer, or they are thinking about me and I should make an effort and connect with them.

She's been on my mind a lot yesterday and today. I'm not sure why. The primary daydream has been one of me not giving in. Maybe it's this book I'm reading her. How the main character screams her name at me. and, I'm listening to Coldplay.

The song I listened to on my way to our first meeting seemed so perfect. Yet, at the time, the song afterwords, Warning Sign, always seemed more appropriate. I wanted to like "Green Eyes", but "warning sign" always seemed better. In the end, you guess which one makes the most sense. Shoulda known.

If she gets too tired, and mercy and grace kick in in unexpected ways, this is what I will do.
Take off. yes, that is what I want. A week or two in Seattle, Olympia, Port Townsend, a week in Portland, a week or two in Boise, A week or two in Albuquerque, a few months in New Zealand (assuming my dear friend goes through with it and I can go with), come back to DC and hang (coerce someone into giving me a job), then to Billings, Helena, maybe Bozeman. Then to North Idaho to recuperate (beg for a place to sleep in a cabin or a stable). From there to Spokane to write resumes and apply for forever kind of jobs. And then home, where all will be well once more. Basically, I want to travel to the people who I love and heal, slowly. Then maybe I'll write a book - about taking lots of pictures - telling stories - camping out and living out of my car, taking random bartending and table waiting jobs inspite of my expensive education.

This is my plan. Keep in mind that what you want to be rarely will be, sometimes it's the next thing that you land on.