I really am more ok than everyone thinks. Or am I lying to myself? I feel ok, until something happens and I burst into tears spontaneously and uncontrollably. But, then, I stop. and everything is ok again. Coping skills, denial, or maybe I just am really ok. Or not.
The Brandi Carlile concert might mean a lot of tears - I better warn my friends.
It's nice to be back in school... but I hate that sick feeling of dread when I think of all the things I need to do in not enough time. I am who I am, can do what I can. My job is to just do it.
Thanks to all my friends - I feel like someone on a tightrope who has a great safety net. Thanks, safety net.
Sometimes, though, I just want to leave and not look back. Move to Seattle,Portland, Boise, Albuquerque, Helena... be whoever I feel like being - fade into the background. Just fade away. If she succeeds, it will be hard not to.
Ramble Ramble
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