coffeeshop

I feel strong conflicting emotions.

Friendships aren't what I thought they were. Confused.

There are a few people in my life who I love. Wholly, truly, in a way I don't even understand. I want them to find someone who loves them as much and more and better than I do. Oftentimes when they meet these people, I try to help. I understand the people I love and I want the ones who love them to understand too. Makes for strange conversations.

Impetuous, passionate, fierce - Hold on! it's worth it! hold on through the fights - through the depression - through the anger, hold your love loosely, but hold on!

Sweet, devoted, unstable, loyal, kind to a fault, will fight and be mean until you stand up for yourself - it's worth it! Sit through the bad nights, be there on the good days, be stable for the instability, stand up for yourself, stand up for your love - it's worth it.

Intense, high-speed, unstable, a doer, a protector, your knight in shining armor - hold on through the yelling, duck the thrown objects, be there the next morning when vision has cleared, love anyway, love being protected, do your part - it's worth it.

Both of them are mine - they say they wouldn't be one if it wasn't for me - I said forgive, love, see the why instead of the what - it's worth it.

They are mine, but not like they are yours. They are mine in an inscrutable, indefinable way. I have been where you are, it wasn't meant to be - I'm not enough, or at least, I'm not just right or I had another place to fill - I can't explain. I have too many roadblocks.However,they are still mine and I will do whatever I can to make you theirs as long as possible - maybe someday you will be mine too.