I discovered the day after Christmas that I am capable of feeling emotions strong enough to make me physically sick to my stomach. that's never really happened before.
Well, that's not true. It hasn't happened in a really long time.
Someone told me that your parents splitting up is a life-defining moment. You know, that period of time that you measure all other time against. That was before, or after. Right now, I can think of three, well, four defining moments in my life. My grandma dying, the two year period I was in a relationship, opening my birth certificate and the ensuing process of searching for and finding my bio. parents, and this. There have been a lot of other things that have been hard and have changed me, but these four moments are at the top.
I have felt sick to my stomach due to emotional distress before... That and a shitty gall bladder.
She couldn't give us presents - too much money in a time when money is a potential issue. She felt really bad - they had discussed giving us each a camera, but she didn't think we'd want them anymore.
He didn't get it.
We got our cameras.
It made me feel ill. Receiving it from him made me hate him, made me cry, made me wish he were dead so I could move on.
It felt like pay-off, a buy-out, a "see, I'm a better parent" moment that I never thought I would have to endure.
And yet, maybe he just was following through with the former plan because he knew she couldn't.
Either way, I'm keeping it. I just might not be able to use it for a while.