Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Two women meet in a coffee shop in a war-torn country

The product of the last time I had to write a damned paper:
Two women meet in a coffee shop in a foreign country. They start talking randomly. “Have you heard that song “rangers” by “A Fine Frenzy”? Something about being chased by rangers and not wanting to be caught. “
“I wonder what they did to not want to be caught. Maybe they stole something? “
“Who knows”. A pause. “They say when you walk in bear country, you don’t need to be able to run faster than the bear, just faster then the person you’re with.”
“Yeah? That’s a good idea.”
These men come in the door like they are looking for someone. They look at the two women somewhat suspiciously and then position themselves near enough to hear their conversation.
“ So, what do you like? My favorite here is their smoothies.”
“ I’ve never been here before – I’m not from here, haven’t been around much.”
“Where are you from? “
“I’ve got family in the south, deep south, hurricane country, ever been there? “
” No, my people are spread across the west – it’d be a nice place to visit, if I had a reason.”
“I think I’ll try again.”
“Want some company?”
“No, that’s not necessary, I’ve got a dog that can’t run faster than a bear.”
“Well, I’ve got to get back to work… we should do this again sometime.”
“Yeah, I’ll give you a call.”
The men look confused. They did not get what they wanted. The second woman leaves abruptly, the first watches her leave and then sits to read the paper for a while. The men leave.
Three weeks later, not exactly.. . different day of the week, different time, the women meet up again. “Want dinner?”
“No, I was thinking about going out… dancing…. Drinking.” The second woman looks haggard, wearing a hood and a hat and glasses.
“Hard times?”
“Yeah, it’s been tough. I’m feeling successful, though, like my luck’s changing.That dog of mine didn’t keep the bears away very well.”
“Did you find that friend of yours?”
“No, we went in separate cars – missed each other along the way, I guess, but I got what I wanted from her.”
The other woman simply raises her eyebrows. “So, dancing?”
Later that night, the women are at a club. The second woman starts dancing close to the first. Those men from before show up in the crowd close by. “Kiss me.”
“What?”
“Like it was your idea.” The first woman looks at the second and slowly moves in to kiss her. The men walk by with a sideways glance, but no recognition. The second woman drinks some more, rapidly approaching the too drunk to drive stage.
“Can I take you home”
“To my place?” The women leave the bar. At the second woman’s apartment, “Please stay, I can’t be alone right now.” “Sure.” “Will you sleep here?” The men are now observing the window from a high rise across the street. The man in charge says, "Leave them be. Just watch the shadows and the door.” Early the next morning, the first woman leaves. The men look, but “she’s not carrying anything. She must not have it.”
The police show up at the first woman’s house. “We have a search warrant for your house.” “I don’t understand….” “you’re companion is being held for theft and we have reason to believe that she transferred stolen goods to you.” “What?”
She goes to visit her friend in jail. “Is there anything I can do?” “No, it’s all done. I’m done.”
“It’s bad timing, but I was headed home next week.”
“You should go, your family probably misses you.”
“I hate to leave you.”
“No, it’s all good now.” They shared their goodbyes and I love you’s and a kiss.
The woman leaves her apartment taking only what she would need for a visit. If she was moving, she’d have to go through an audit. She’s not sure she’s coming back, but it’s better to assume she is.
The woman flies back to the States. She’s at home with her family and the FBI shows up. “your friend… was convicted. Do you have any intention of returning to the country?” “I hadn’t really decided yet, but I’m engaged…. My world has changed… I probably won’t be going back.”
The FBI agent, interestingly, the same man who called off his men that night, says, “walk with me.” They walk out of earshot of her family and his men. “I won’t say anything if you never go back.”
“What about my things?”
“I’ll have one of my agents pack up everything in your apt. and hers and ship it to you.”
“I have some fragile items, I’d rather at least supervise their packing.”
“OK, but only supervise.”
When she gets back to the states, she flies to Tennessee with her friend’s belongings. Louisiana, Florida, she finds someone with a familiar name and ships a few packages to them with an explanation. “I loved her, this is what is left, I hope it means as much to you as she meant to me.”
The news had a story the other day about this valuable jewel that was mysteriously missing from a war torn country. No one knows what happened to it.
30 years later.
The jewel surfaces in the Northeast. No one knows where it came from.
This retired FBI agent came to see my mom the other day. “How’d you do it?”
“Love is powerful.” He left looking very unsatisfied.
20 years later.
My mom said something interesting on her death bed. I write it because I never want to forget. She was an amazing woman. She had been many places, just to work and see what the world held. She had this innate ability to read minds, maybe not literally, but she always knew what certain people were thinking. She said they had beautiful souls. I think it was because deep down they understood each other.
I was sitting with her one day and she said, “There is a great power in assumption and randomness.” “What, mom?” “Think about it love, it’ll all make sense someday.” When we went through her estate, she had an enormous amount of money invested and an apartment in a war torn country. She gave much of it away, but she provided for all of us. Not enough so that we wouldn’t have to work for our everyday needs, but she provided for our houses and our educations and our children’s educations. And, there was a provision for this family in Louisiana. I later heard a rumour that they had some very notorious members in their family.

Monday, September 22, 2008

A story, truth or fiction...

Here’s the story:
Police report receiving a phone call from neighbor saying that there were three women outside digging a hole at 11:30 pm on a cool clear moonlit night and she had heard them mention that the hole had to be bigger, something about Earl had to die, searches and seizures, and “RIP”, saying some words, “goodbye – name unclear”.

The woman was concerned. She noticed that the bark in the flowerbed at the end of the apartment had been disturbed (and not just in one small spot, but all over the flowerbed!). Also, the three women were all smoking afterwards. One said something about not smoking except when it concerned death and deadlines, and one of the others had said something about imminent doom, and it was apparent that the cigarettes belonged to only one of them, so at least two of them were not regular smokers.

Additionally, earlier in the day, the woman had heard some kind of loud snapping sounds coming from the apartment. She was unsure what the noise was and decided to stay inside for the afternoon.

The neighbor wasn’t sure if there was anything to be reported, but she felt obligated because the situation seemed extremely fishy. She was also disturbed at the callousness of the three women. If this was a situation concerning someone’s death, they were talking about it flippantly, talking about tanning, their plans for the next day, etc. Additionally, she had heard two of them talking later about how they didn’t want anyone to know and they would lie to make sure that certain people didn’t find out the truth.

Possible explanation from the woman who lives in the house next door.
Obviously they killed someone’s boyfriend and buried him in the flowerbed, like in that song “Earl had to die.” In fact two of the women admitted to being involved in 4-H, like in the song. At the very least, they must have been burying damning evidence of some crime in the flowerbed. Why else would three women be digging at 11:30 pm on a cool fall evening. Not to mention, it was very moonlit that night, they could have committed a myriad of crimes and be hiding the evidence.

Another possible explanation from a classmate.
The three had committed an honor code violation and were burying the evidence. Who knows what evidence there would be to be buried, but it’s a possibility. Especially because the three were law students. You never know with those damn law students, they’re always breaking some law. They seem to think they’re above it. In fact, I heard that two of the three had stolen from a classmate two days previous! Coincidentally, they were seen leaving a party just prior to the cops breaking it up. Who knows what kind of lawlessness they are capable of!

Yet another possibility:
The woman had a mouse problem. When she left her apartment that day to go to school to attempt to meet a deadline, she had left traps out to catch the mice. Big traps, because she wanted to make sure that the mice were dead, and from the noise they had been making, she was afraid they might be big mice. She did not want to use poison because she did not want to find dead rotting mice at a later date. She had her friend borrow a shovel to bury the mice, but because she and another mutual friend were working on a research outline, frantically trying to meet a deadline, they couldn’t be rid of the animals until late that evening. The three friends met to bury the dead mice. It took three of them because, well, you know how women can be when it comes to mice and how they need moral support for EVERYTHING. I mean, it takes at least three women to do anything that could possibly involve squeamishness or safety issues, no matter how remote the chance of harm.

Disclaimer: any resemblance to real people or events is unlikely. Who would bury anything at 11:30 on a cold night when they had a deadline the next day? Seriously.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

my first year of law school in sum

Salt Lake City Memorial Day weekend 2008
“pregnancy box”
“I have an unlimited box because of what I do”
“we were not giggling and running up the stairs – no, it was down the stairs and then back up”
Sardines
“ I ran into the wall and hit my head!”
“I’m so sorry I felt you up in the hot tub” – “Don’t worry, I got you back last night”
“I am having so much fun with gays and lesbians in Park City”
“Stripper, stripping, whore, cowgirls! – it was undress”

Civil Procedure:
Woman suing because of a heifer that was hit when it wandered on the tracks.
"Thievery of precious chattels" - Jenn
Jessie and Bertha Parks collided with a train - "Guess who won"
"I was getting a hair cut one day. The Barber was talking about an ongoing lawsuit, "That woman is suing for loss of his condominium. I don't think he gave her that much condominium in the first place!"
“one bite at the apple”
"Bribing the judge is not acceptable, in most cases"
From the prologue of a book
"The reader may have before him 200 pages of the dreariest prose ever written by mankind."
"At the time, you made your money based on how many students took your class - Thank God they've abandoned that!"
So far today, he has mentioned Playgirl in passing as well as peuking in his mothers arms….

“Minus 5 minutes that I was exerting all my energy into Not Laughing out Loud!
LOL - Think a hierarchy of "norms" like Norm from cheers.
Ashley's contribution:
ashleyrokyta@hotmail.com says:
little norm medium norm and big norm...awesome
ashleyrokyta@hotmail.com says:
or like a hierarchy of drunkeness
ashleyrokyta@hotmail.com says:
sober norm tipsy norm drunk norm

I was crying I was laughing so hard!
So then, I read a myspace comment where a friend of mine said he was laughing so hard at a joke I posted that he blew a snot bubble.
Then I was shushed by the peanut gallery in front of me and ashley said - you're making a scene control yourself!
OMG -I almost had to leave!
And then that guy started shaking his ass at the same time Vincenti started talking about Norm again. I almost died.”

She started laughing in the middle of class – apparently if you google that professor’s name and look at images, a half naked woman comes up!

Head count: 35!

"Do you think he knows this isn't how big our section really is?"
All time most common quote: "WELLhhh"
Two words - I have no idea what the hell they mean or how they're spelled: reify, hyposthetis? Maybe he means hypothesis
A hypostetis means to treat as real something that is conceptual.
Reification is a synonym to a hypostetis.
What do you know, I learned something.

Missed it, I thought of a funny quote from freshman year of college. "In the first place, your honor, those weren't chickens."

Vincenti "Do you think you're wasting your time here?"
George started talking about people being on top and holding people down and some one always being on top….. Um….

"I'm having a hard time finding revolutionaries here."
"I don't hate men, neither do most feminists."
Jeremy: I don't mean to dominate the class discussion (I think)
Vincenti: I do! I'm the teacher!

"Act in good faith, do what you thin kis right. Nine times out of ten, you'll be right."

If I thought you were going to bring it up, I'd want to know so I can go find my own quack.
The infamous george
Vincenti whispers "Then scratch him off"
It'd be a pity if you only learned one thing out of class if you didn't get a chance to tell me of it.

" you laugh like this retard I used to know"

Torts: If you put a "but" in a sentence, people remember the second half.

T-shirt emblem.
Caution:
Please do not transport fireworks on the train.
Message brought to you by Long Island Railroad

" a breathtaking departure from tort law"

Judges say - "this is simple"
If you ever see a sentence saying clearly - it isn't clear, if it says it's simple, it isn't simple.

"When I teach remedies, people always sit in the back and make comments about blowing things up - I think they've been in law school too long and are getting tired of it."

"That’s enough hazing for one day - if you are in a state of trauma, I don't want to make it worse."
"you're a loser!" (to jenn chadband in the context of the hypo as her being the plaintiff)
"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm protected by tort law."
Lol - Austin Powers "Oh, Behave!"
Help Lollipops Realize Candy is Viral
If you have everything down cold, the essay will be easy

Property wasn’t very entertaining

Random statement about the first vcr with a wired remote and new American Gladiator - Hulk Hogan getting old
"drugs aren't treating you so well in your old age"
Discussion about SG-1 :) Satz wants to be Teal'c! :D

To Jeremy: "What did you say, I was dazzled by your suit."

If they're gonna run this place like a kindergarten, I want milk and naps, baby.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Places I ...

Places I’ve slept (since I turned 18 (before that, there were a few places, but they were on trips with my parents, so I’m not sure where):

Living room floor at mom and dads

Basement floor at mom and dads

The hearth in front of the fireplace at mom and dad’s (well, I was a little kid, but it’s a funny place)

The front seat of my car

On a wagon seat - don’t worry, the horses were tied up!

The floor of the tack shed

Couches in the camp building

The floor in front of the woodstove at mom and dads

My bedroom floor, upstairs and downstairs at mom and dads

Piano bench at mom and dads

Both couches at mom and dads

My bed – everywhere I’ve lived – two dorm rooms, two houses at whitworth, two houses in Olympia, My parents, Moscow

The floor of my Moscow apartment

The dining room floor of the Women in Politics house

Crissy’s floor in the Women and Politics house

My bedroom floor in the Wo Pol house

Crissy’s bed in the women and Politics house

Both couches in the Arts in Life house

The futon and both couches in the Women and Politics house

The living room floor of the Arts in Life house

Both couches in the Westminster Lounge

The seat of my grandpa’s pickup at the marcus campground

A bed in a house on Maui

An airplane

On the back of my car

On Rick and Tasha’s futon in the house in arden and the house in boyds

A bed at Sen. Morton’s house

The couch at Sen. Morton’s house

The futon at both Crissy’s apartments

A mattress at Amy’s apartment – the first night

The couch at Frances’ house

The floor of the yellow house

The floor of Crissy’s second apartment – the first night we moved her in

The futon mattress on the floor (with Alicia) at Crissy’s first apartment

Several piano benches in the music building at Whitworth

London - hotel

Kalispell – Mike and Sandy Jo’s house

Missoula - hotel

Yakima – hotel and Grandpa Joe’s house

Spokane - hotel

A tent at Marcus, in Republic, in Milton-Freewater, Haags cove,

The floor on a foam pad at Birdies house

Steven’s couch

Austin and Michelle’s floor

The camp building!!

Gramps’ house

The bed of Grandpa’s pickup

My parents’ yard

My parents deck

Fa’ana’s couch at the Shalom theme house

Holley’s parents house

Holley’s couch at her house

The Blankenship Girls’ house in Spokane

Janna’s bed in Seattle

Janna’s couch in Seattle (I must’ve been bad lol)

Celeste’s house in Milton-Freewater

Stacey’s house in Kettle

Stacey’s house in Spokane

Stacey’s couch at the apt. in West Central

My brother’s couch

A house in Corona Cali.

A house in La Habra Heights Cali.

A house in Park City Utah

A house in Helena Mt

A Hotel and a house in Albuquerque NM

A camper in Republic

A tent in the Marcus Campground

A tent in the middle of the arena in republic

Places I’ve spent the night without sleeping:

Art building – Whitworth

English building – Whitworth

I-15 north

I-5 north

I-5 south

Arts in Life house

Wo –Pol house

The law school

People I’ve slept with: (apparently I sleep alone more often than with someone – the only boy was on the other side of a girl… haha, unless you count sleeping in the same room, then there would be four more boys on the list….)

Crissy

Amy

Catherine

Janna

Jackie B.

Alicia Doyl

Ashley N.

Ashley N. and Joe M.

Stacey

Lori

Michelle

Ashleigh

Erika Prins

Someday I want to

Someday I want to: (in no particular order)

1. Train horses

2. Become a massage therapist

3. Become a bartender

4. own a pickup

5. Own a Jeep

6. Own cows

7. Take voice lessons

8. Learn to paint/draw/sculpt

9. Learn to dance

10. Learn martial arts

11. Run a marathon/triathlon

12. Live in a big city for at least 3 months

13. Travel to Ireland

14. Travel to the East Coast

15. Find my father

16. Meet my biological families

17. Show cows pro

18. Visit Portland

19. Own a bar for Ashley to manage and Ashleigh to cater out of

20. Learn to play the penny whistle

21. Learn to play the drums

22. Learn to play the harp

23. Learn to play the violin

24. Learn to play the cello

25. Learn to play the clarinet

26. Learn to play the organ

27. Own the above instruments

28. Have muscular arms/body

29. Own a pug

30. Own a house and property in the country and run cows and horses

31. Have an herb garden

32. Learn medicinal uses for herbs

33. Be married

34. Have a baby

35. house/raise foster kids

36. Cut my hair really short/ shave my head

37. Work for a caterer

38. GO fishing

39. Go hunting

40. Own several rifles/guns/pistols

41. Learn to play the piano by ear/improvise/play better

42. visit Catherine in New Mexico

43. Visit Alicia in Arizona

44. Go to Alaska

45. Live on a boat for at least 3 months

46. Read/own all the Anne of Green Gables books

47. Learn Latin

48. Learn Greek

49. Learn Hebrew

50. Understand theology/doctrine better

51. Go camping once a summer

52. Float the river once a summer

53. Go to the drive in once a summer

54. Go Horse-back riding once a summer

55. Go to the Republic Fair every year

56. Be a land use consultant

57. Work for a legislative committee

58. Work for the Farm Bureau

59. Pass the bar exam

60. Work in the ID legislature

61. Work in the MT legislature

62. Learn to ski

63. Learn to snowboard

64. Learn to snowshoe

65. Become a certified mediator

66. Go skydiving

67. Write a book

68. Write a song – instrumental and words

Wow

That's all there really is to say.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24585481/

check it out for yourself.