Intentionality

I just had a thought.... Should we judge others people's actions by their intentions? or by how those actions affect us and others? I do my best to judge by intentions. But, then again, isn't that rather presuppositional? I presume that I know your intentions so that I don't feel as bad about the shitty thing you just did to me? That does not make sense. So, do I judge your actions by how I feel rejected and injured? But, if that's not what you intended, that isn't fair either.... Thoughts?